Relax your shoulders. Take a deep breath. Its time to talk about money. 

money is energy. The more you constrict the flow, the less easily it can come to you. Its taken me 7 years to get to a healthy relationship with money, and its still an imperfect journey. For me, a combination of spiritual beliefs + no nonsense goals + planning allowed me to finally get out of debt.

Lets go back 8 years to when my money issues began. A new college graduate, not knowing what I wanted to do with my life, working in a popular Mexican restaurant in Cincinnati’s over the Rhine neighborhood. I was in an abusive + codependent relationship at the time, that exhausted all of my savings, led to me getting fired from my job, and a long period of unhealthy money management. Lack of any management really. At that time I was too proud to ask for help, and had no awareness of unemployment assistance, so I depended on my credit cards to get me through. That debt snowball grew as I started dating my now partner, took me through a few years of inconsistent income, going to grad school, a cross-country move, starting two businesses, getting married and two moves. 

I had a severe scarcity mindset when it came to money. I didn’t believe I was worthy of it, and I ignored the deep chasm of pain that was created by it. When I felt bad about myself, I would shop to feel better. I used to be a Sephora Rouge every year, which meant spending 1000 dollars or more per calendar year. I spent money without even thinking about it. There were no consequences, because I didn’t think of a credit card as a consequence. I could put the card away and forget about it, never thinking twice about how long that bill would take to pay off, or how much the total was growing. 

Shifting my perspective

Growing my first business and landing my first salaried job allowed me to shift my perspective. This was the first step in rewiring my relationship. Doing years of healing work, to be magnetic courses, finding Her first 100K, trying out Dave Ramsey’s method (which I don’t recommend), several manifestation books, and many other financial education tools over the course of five years.

What created the biggest shift was starting my current business, and feeling in alignment with my purpose. Because of this, money flowed naturally, I felt confident in my abilities, healed myself through shadow work around my worth + completely changed the energetics tied to money. As we started paying down debts, the motivation + energy shifted.

Getting out of debt

Over the last two years my partner + I finally got out of debt. In 7 years together, we had amassed 70K in credit card + car debts. I let go of the shame around having debt, and allowed myself to talk about it freely with friends + family. This was a huge shift, as the conversation opened up, we were able to create a plan, and cut down our debts. We had to make alot of sacrifices along the way of course. Missing friends weddings, cutting down on all travel, eating out minimally, and creating budgets were the biggest steps taken. We sold alot of things we didn’t need, including our leased Jeep Wrangler, and became more intentional about the items we owned, and what items came into the home in the future. 

In 2020, we paid off nearly 50K in debts. As we both owned small businesses, we qualified for grants + loans that allowed us to quickly get out of debt, even during the pandemic. This summer we were lucky to change our living situation which ended up being a financially lucrative opportunity for us, that we made money on. We both paid off our credit cards, and Jess paid off their car, 2 years ahead of schedule. 

I’m now 2500 dollars away from being completely out of debt, aside from student loans, which I consider a completely different category. The excitement of this new future is worth every sacrifice made along the way. The ability to dream without the physical + emotional weight of debt is indescribable. It affects you in ways I don't have words for. But it makes such a difference in the quality of life, in my relationships + in my relationship to myself. 

Freedom is always worth the journey to achieve it. 

My advice 

Start talking about money. 

What you make, what you’re saving, what debts you have. Nothing is worth being in debt over, living in shame over. 

Educate yourself about money 

Her first 100K is my personal favorite resource. Her Facebook community has been instrumental in learning more about financial wellness. Doing healing work through to be magnetic specifically around shadow work + unblocking beliefs about money was crucial in my money relationship evolution. Find what works for you + what tools you are called to. 

Make a plan. 

If you’re in debt, make a plan with a friend, talk to your parents or your partner to keep you accountable to your goals. Sitting down and crunching the numbers is the only way to create real change when it comes to money + get yourself motivated to change. 

I hope hearing my story is helpful to you. If it resonates with you, let me know what you want to hear from me next on this topic. I’d love to continue this into a series, and help grow the money minimalism conversation. 

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